Kick and Scream
So I was out early yesterday from the office, thinking I'd drop by PeopleSupport to grab my hard-earned salary. Even before the security guard was done checking my bag for any live snakes or hamsters, he notified me that, just in case that I went there to check if my salary is already available, I am completely mistaken and that I have wasted an hour of transportation going there because my salary won't be available until Thursday.
I knew I should've brought a snake.
Zipping my bag immediately (almost slicing Mr. Security Guard's wrist), I somberly dragged myself to the highway, contemplating on what to do next (since it's still 7pm and I haven't had my dinner yet). For a millisecond I decided to go to Glorietta and waste the rest of the evening there (spending my Saturday night alone, boo) but then again I became time-conscious (which is really not the usual me) and made up my mind to give Small of Asia a visit. An hour or so and I was off to Buendia to get a ride to SOA. As I got off the jeepney ( amazing traffic, I wonder what's it all about?) I saw a flood of human beings chasing mini-cabs. They were literally hurling themselves to the speeding vehicle, not minding a broken rib or a split femur.
Ooookaaayyy... A little bit strange but I reminded myself that this is the Philippines and everything is always strange.
After a few minutes and a fantastic view of filipino gymnastics at work, I was on my way to Small of Asia (still wondering about the tremendous traffic and the people kicking and screaming for a ride).
Then it hit me. Like an overrated havaiana on my forehead. Like a speeding blind cockroach on my face. Like a psychotic writer running out of appropriate similes..
TONIGHT IS THE ERASERHEAD'S REUNION CONCERT, DUMMY.
Before I knew it, I was already part of the screaming crowd on its way to the concert area. No, I didn't watch the performance. Not really a big fan of e'heads. I did my best to pull myself out of the mob and catch my breath at a nearby coffee house. Resuscitating my life back with a slice of White Chocolate Cake and a steaming hot cup of cappuccino, I received a text message from my sister telling me that she is in Small of Asia and she needs my help to pull her off her unwanted suitor and feed her nagging tummy. We ended up swallowing Japanese food at a nearby restaurant.
To cut the story short, we arrived home 3 in the morning on taxi because we can't get a van on our way home since there was a warp hole spitting human beings from where the concert took place. The scene was so eternal, it was like a shot of Manila Memorial Cemetery on All Soul's Day. People were actually violating all the grass areas around the mall. Kids sleeping on sidewalks like homeless orphans, Moms and dads beating their heads with a stick to fight off sleep, and teenagers-- oh the teenagers-- spreading the stench of teen spirit all over the walls of the mall. I was just forcing myself not to take out my flamethrower and set everybody on fire.
If you were around the area by that time, you know the chaos I was talking about. Haha
HOW TO KILL YOURSELF
Whew. It's been quite a long while since I last made a blog entry. Truth be told, I'm really quite busy with a lot of stuff lately. No, I am not trying to stall by writing this entry. I got no reason to stall... La la la la....
...fiddle diddle...big cat with his swollen nipple....
...scratch... scratch...sniff...scratch...ewww gross...
hahaha. that would cut a few minutes from my busy existence.
I'm just quite overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that are happily eating their way through the rest of my system. Come closer and take a glimpse of the life that I'm 'enjoying' right now. No God, I'm not being sarcastic.
Academics (plates, contact prints, slides, oh and did i mention plates? yeah.. quite a lot more of those)...
Work (I'll be starting my part-time work at PeopleSupport tomorrow night. I was ecstatic when I first got the contract and was drooling while signing the paper, but the excitement somehow subsided and transformed to the feeling I sometimes call 'skushno'-- which is the term used for extreme laziness and boredom)...
The Newspaper ( yeah, I'm still working my a** off in that publication. Being the Features/Technology/Entertainment Section Editor is not a laughing matter. Top that with a good whip of fluffy 'being overworked' cream and a stem of 'being underpaid' cherry.Yummy? Tell you what, I still have a mouthful and I can't do anything but swallow it. I flush it with humility, though. A lot of doors opened for me because of my stay there.)
Love life (okay this one is not really part of the inescapable regrets, I'm happy with ---- right now and I can't explain how thankful I am with that bit it's a part of the 'stuff' that I'm juggling...
Now if you opened this blog entry thinking "Hey, James has a new way of new-age suicide! I want to try it!" then worry no more. Follow these simple instructions: Step 1.) Go to the bathroom. Step 2.) Look at yourself in the mirror and Step 3.) Slap yourself.
What the hell were you thinking?! I'm not some psychologist with a few screws loose. Yeah I'm stressed out, but I'm keeping my life suspended in thin strings. This is how I kill myself, tell my how you do yours...
...hic..hic..
... pass me more of that beer... who said I can't handle the mother of all stress? Bring it on baby...
Freedom Overwhelming (and so much blah)
I feel so confused right now. It's as if I'm chained on a pair of wings - I know exactly well that I could soar above the clouds but at the same time I'm bound to take flight over a limitless horizon... the exaggerated feeling of freedom engulfs me like ice cold vanilla vodka, pleasure and poison at the same time.
I think I'm getting you confused too. Heehee. As of the moment I am given the task/opportunity to write a column for the newspaper that I'm part of. Exciting yes. I can write about almost any topic I want but the tricky part is, I can write about almost any topic I want. Hmmmm, we got politics, the weather, oil/rice/fare hike, pinoy talents, pinoy stupidity, life, love, music, arts, and P.E.
For the record, I'm actually planning to write out something I made as a blog post before. But it felt like cheating myself through my deadline. I't won't be fair to the other writers. I fear for my own credibility.
Time and again I realize that freedom is a really complicated matter. A lot of us fight for this but there are only a few who could really define freedom. Some say that freedom is the state of being politically free, others may view it as space or elbowroom for movement, sovereignity, independence, even deviation from normal rules or procedures. Freeom is the chance we get to redeem what we think is rightfully ours. We make the creed. We draw the line. We give the figures.
Now, what topic am I supposed to write about again?
P.S. > If you have any idea or any suggestion, let my torment end and share your thoughts. Satirical notions are highly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Mother nature is so hot... which is not a good thing
Whenever I try to walk out of the house in mid-afternoon, realization always hit me that the world really is starting to melt. The summery season is not an excuse since here in our place we experience weather changes every three minutes. It really pisses me off when my skin (literally) starts liquifying -- demanding I put on SPF 3000 or else they'll detach themselves.
Global warming really is not cool. It pains me to visualize that the once splendid environment we usually ignore is slowly evaporating between our very eyes -- that is, if our eyes haven't burned yet and we still them on. Sure we got lots of technological crap updated, but don't we ever think of what the future might become if we stay careless and stupid? Being retarded and a complete moron is a probable excuse, but being apathetic? I don't think so. We may be looking forward to a brighter future, we may be fulfilling the demands of the 'global village', we may be up-to-date and in-the-know (hell for the lack of words), but shouldn't we be thinking of something else? something more valuable? like this spinning rock we call earth?
I'm not rinsing my hands clean here. I, too, am guilty. Guilty enough to write this post and attend to nature's call (pun not intended). I may be a part of People's Ethical Treatment to Animals (PETA), and Greenpeace (yes, the one where Pamela Anderson posed with nothing but spinach on), but I know these are not enough to support my movement of sweeping global warming off my backyard.
I believe in the saying that change only starts if you have the balls for it, that's why from now on, I swear (swear here meaning 'I'll try my very best...) to pay some equal respect to mother earth. Eventhough I think mother nature would love to hear that she's hot, I plan not to take that statement to its literal sense. Moreover, I am willing to volunteer and take part in every environment-awareness programs and seminars to further increase my literacy in preventing this world from falling apart -- like a superhero, but without the flowing cape thing and annoying pose.
I think you should do the same.
Similes and Metaphors
To deny the mere fact that I'm missing someone so bad right now is like a flying squid on south super highway -- it's ridiculous. The thing is, I have no right to feel that certain feeling. Right now, all the words that I've written on my previous article are hitting me like an arrow on the forehead. Moving on is such a naive part of living... We take on risky decisions without thinking about the safety net for our eventual fall...
When we love, we always give our all. We succumb to this ecstatic feeling, thinking that it's a permanent emotion. We work more effectively. We do things more patiently. We act more than what is expected from us. We are inspired. We become more of what we used to be...
But when things start to turn sour, we give up. We lose our focus yet we continue to drag a pointless argument. We blame and point fingers at each other. We always act like we know better and we are always right. And when we get to the point where were already tired and everything is horrible, we snip off the once splendid relationship we used to think about before we sleep.
Love is a really great feeling, but the price we pay is high. It's not a one-shot deal, but more of a trial-and-error system. Yet between these experimental occurences we encounter the painful procedure of stripping off the past and moving on to the future. Like every evolution, we cannot choose to be stuck up and be stagnant. Love and life is like a bicycle on a road full of dust, thorn, and rock -- in order for us to gain momentum and reach a certain destination, no matter how difficult and painful we must keep on pushing and moving forward.
Change is the most constant thing in this world, and if we prefer to keep up with its pace, we should pick ourselves from where we left off and move along...
i hate alarm clocks! and other 9 XO things about 'the james'
10. I hate alarm clocks. It starts my day by annoying the crap out of me and they eventually die because I 'accidentaly' drowned them in the tub with some soapy water..
9. I speak in random languages... randomly. I speak french, japanese, arabic, latin, chinese, and korean everytime I'm irritated, glad, musical, or just plain dumb. It's a fun game nobody understands.
8. I love playing the guitar... even when the strings are starting to slit my fingers in half and i'm actually risking my life for the threat of tetanus because of the rust on them. music is a siucidal career. let's dig deeper.
7. Want to drug me? give me some awesomely done mango smoothie and I'll tell you the secret code of our ancestry's vault as well as the map to the treasures of atlantis.
6. I have a disoreder. and it's called a multiple personality disorder. the pros? i can get along well with anybody. the cons? i'm really confusing sometimes. sad.
5. I love to party!!!!!!!!! (see the dilemma here? i'm a solid rocker. but i party so damn hard. tee hee)
4. Hot weather can easily make me doze off on my seat. I have no idea why but i can sleep soundly on a really hot environment. talk about sizzle!
3. I'm a freelance counselor. I usually give advices on love, starting in, going through, breaking up, and moving along. I'm a frequent adviser on yahoo! answers. :)
2. Gummy 'things' are my comfort food! from bears to worms to vampire dentures. as long as theyre gummy theyre mine!!
1. want to know more about me? (man this sounds so canned. blech!) blah blah blah just be my friend. c'mon i won't chew on your innards. (well unless your innards are gummy...)
as the year approaches its closure - a trip down the memory lane...
end...
1) Where did you begin 2007?
- home. with my squealing mom, my 'horn-y' dad (pun not intended), silent brother, three screaming sisters - one of whom has a built-in amplifier on her throat, the youngest sibling already at the dinner table stuffing her mouth with slabs of sweet ham, and the Del Rosario Family--equally jumping and yelling and throwing coins around the entire house. A happy mess i should say. sheesh..
2) What was your status by Valentine's
Day?
- single. But I recall giving someone a box of Cadbury chocolates -- and regreting it after. She was the one who got fatter anyway..
3) Were you in school (anytime this
year)?
- As much as I can. Every little second is a moment I couldn't afford to miss. (*sniff*)
4) How did you earn your money?
- Allowance -- after hunger-striking in front of our yard for a week to have it increased by at least 20%. Every penny is worth a sweat...sweet old suffering... curses.
5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
- Hmmm. as far as I can recall we had a few trips back to the hospital for some medical check-ups and dental fix-ups..
6) Did you have any encounters with
the police?
- A friend and I actually decided to spend our night at a convenience store all the way along Quirino Avenue. We asked manong police who was assigned there to guard us as we snooze at the pavement. He even gave us used carton boxes so we won't get cold. Curse that damn curfew scheme..
7) Where did you go on holidays?
- There were few holidays where my friends and I gather for some chitchat. Other than that, no biggie holiday escapade. sad.
8) What did you purchase that was over
P1000?
- My white leather high cut converse shoes, my levi's, my 'interactive' cellphone that requires to be slammed and dropped every 5 minutes or else it will lose its concentration and die. It even display random barcodes on its screen every once in a while.. its broken.
9) Did you know anybody who got
married?
- Allan's big brother got married.. Hmmm. I wonder if a guy-to-guy marriage is counted.. witnessed one.
10) Did you know anybody who passed
away?
- Kuya Allan (from SDC).
12) Did you move anywhere?
- I want to but supreme maternal influence blocks my vision to eternal freedom. sad.
14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
- The myx concert held at the school gym was one. A&F fashion show at glorietta 2, random fashion shows at the NBC tent/rockwell center/greenbelt 3 during the philippine fashion week. and the one where my elementary classmate danced and won the grand prize at.
15) Are you registered to vote?
- I want my vote to be significant. so..no I am not registered to vote.
16) Who did you want to win Big
Brother?
- Reality TV cancels healthy brain cells and prevents the person from thinking appropriately.
17) Where do you live now?
- Here in Cavite. sad.
18) Describe your birthday.
- Insignificant. worst birthday of my life.... so far.
19) What's one thing you thought you'd
never do but did in 2007?
- I promised myself not to smoke. From the day I 'unintentionally' broke it, I abhor making silly promises.
20) What has been your favorite moment?
- Too many to mention. And I'm not exaggerating here.
21) What's something you learned about
yourself?
- Hmmm. I actually realized, after long hours of contemplating and meditating, that what I learned most about the fragile existence of the life, is that most of them I accidentaly forget. Teehee.
22) Any new additions to your family?
- Hmmm. none. If I would be given a chance to add someone I'd definitely take that amazing koi I saw in makati. I'd call him giggles.
23.) What was your best month?
- Best month?! Forgive me but I don't rate my 'best' by months.
24)What will you remember 2007 by?
- The parties, the people (the old, the new, the hot, and the odd), the food (ooh i love mediteranean cuisine now), the concerts, the gigs, the highs and the effing lows. Damn. right now I can see that I had an ass-kicking 2007! wooh!
25) Who has been your best drinking
buddy?
- Maan's house part was a blast! although my drinking buddy back there was a mango tree. The former strangers to new friends -- from Alchemy, Dayo, Arkdia, Dematisse -- who stuck at me when I was already seeing double.
26) Made new friends?
- Hell yeah! Even that cool guy who was trying to sell me some smuggled shoes. And that old lady wearing teal lipstick at the Embassy.
- Nah. Haven't proved his worth yet. haha