bloodsushi

Kick and Scream

2009-03-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

So I was out early yesterday from the office, thinking I'd drop by PeopleSupport to grab my hard-earned salary. Even before the security guard was done checking my bag for any live snakes or hamsters, he notified me that, just in case that I went there to check if my salary is already available, I am completely mistaken and that I have wasted an hour of transportation going there because my salary won't be available until Thursday.

I knew I should've brought a snake.

Zipping my bag immediately (almost slicing Mr. Security Guard's wrist), I somberly dragged myself to the highway, contemplating on what to do next (since it's still 7pm and I haven't had my dinner yet). For a millisecond I decided to go to Glorietta and waste the rest of the evening there (spending my Saturday night alone, boo) but then again I became time-conscious (which is really not the usual me) and made up my mind to give Small of Asia a visit. An hour or so and I was off to Buendia to get a ride to SOA. As I got off the jeepney ( amazing traffic, I wonder what's it all about?) I saw a flood of human beings chasing mini-cabs. They were literally hurling themselves to the speeding vehicle, not minding a broken rib or a split femur.

Ooookaaayyy... A little bit strange but I reminded myself that this is the Philippines and everything is always strange.

After a few minutes and a fantastic view of filipino gymnastics at work, I was on my way to Small of Asia (still wondering about the tremendous traffic and the people kicking and screaming for a ride).

Then it hit me. Like an overrated havaiana on my forehead. Like a speeding blind cockroach on my face. Like a psychotic writer running out of appropriate similes..

TONIGHT IS THE ERASERHEAD'S REUNION CONCERT, DUMMY.

Before I knew it, I was already part of the screaming crowd on its way to the concert area. No, I didn't watch the performance. Not really a big fan of e'heads. I did my best to pull myself out of the mob and catch my breath at a nearby coffee house. Resuscitating my life back with a slice of White Chocolate Cake and a steaming hot cup of cappuccino, I received a text message from my sister telling me that she is in Small of Asia and she needs my help to pull her off her unwanted suitor and feed her nagging tummy. We ended up swallowing Japanese food at a nearby restaurant.

To cut the story short, we arrived home 3 in the morning on taxi because we can't get a van on our way home since there was a warp hole spitting human beings from where the concert took place. The scene was so eternal, it was like a shot of Manila Memorial Cemetery on All Soul's Day. People were actually violating all the grass areas around the mall. Kids sleeping on sidewalks like homeless orphans, Moms and dads beating their heads with a stick to fight off sleep, and teenagers-- oh the teenagers-- spreading the stench of teen spirit all over the walls of the mall. I was just forcing myself not to take out my flamethrower and set everybody on fire.

If you were around the area by that time, you know the chaos I was talking about. Haha

HOW TO KILL YOURSELF

2009-02-03T01:45:00.000-08:00

Whew. It's been quite a long while since I last made a blog entry. Truth be told, I'm really quite busy with a lot of stuff lately. No, I am not trying to stall by writing this entry. I got no reason to stall...

La la la la....

...fiddle diddle...big cat with his swollen nipple....

...scratch... scratch...sniff...scratch...ewww gross...

hahaha. that would cut a few minutes from my busy existence.
I'm just quite overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that are happily eating their way through the rest of my system. Come closer and take a glimpse of the life that I'm 'enjoying' right now. No God, I'm not being sarcastic.

Academics (plates, contact prints, slides, oh and did i mention plates? yeah.. quite a lot more of those)...

Work (I'll be starting my part-time work at PeopleSupport tomorrow night. I was ecstatic when I first got the contract and was drooling while signing the paper, but the excitement somehow subsided and transformed to the feeling I sometimes call 'skushno'-- which is the term used for extreme laziness and boredom)...

The Newspaper ( yeah, I'm still working my a** off in that publication. Being the Features/Technology/Entertainment Section Editor is not a laughing matter. Top that with a good whip of fluffy 'being overworked' cream and a stem of 'being underpaid' cherry.Yummy? Tell you what, I still have a mouthful and I can't do anything but swallow it. I flush it with humility, though. A lot of doors opened for me because of my stay there.)

Love life (okay this one is not really part of the inescapable regrets, I'm happy with ---- right now and I can't explain how thankful I am with that bit it's a part of the 'stuff' that I'm juggling...

Now if you opened this blog entry thinking "Hey, James has a new way of new-age suicide! I want to try it!" then worry no more. Follow these simple instructions: Step 1.) Go to the bathroom. Step 2.) Look at yourself in the mirror and Step 3.) Slap yourself.

What the hell were you thinking?! I'm not some psychologist with a few screws loose. Yeah I'm stressed out, but I'm keeping my life suspended in thin strings. This is how I kill myself, tell my how you do yours...

...hic..hic..

... pass me more of that beer... who said I can't handle the mother of all stress? Bring it on baby...

Freedom Overwhelming (and so much blah)

2008-07-20T04:15:00.000-07:00

I feel so confused right now. It's as if I'm chained on a pair of wings - I know exactly well that I could soar above the clouds but at the same time I'm bound to take flight over a limitless horizon... the exaggerated feeling of freedom engulfs me like ice cold vanilla vodka, pleasure and poison at the same time.

I think I'm getting you confused too. Heehee. As of the moment I am given the task/opportunity to write a column for the newspaper that I'm part of. Exciting yes. I can write about almost any topic I want but the tricky part is, I can write about almost any topic I want. Hmmmm, we got politics, the weather, oil/rice/fare hike, pinoy talents, pinoy stupidity, life, love, music, arts, and P.E.

For the record, I'm actually planning to write out something I made as a blog post before. But it felt like cheating myself through my deadline. I't won't be fair to the other writers. I fear for my own credibility.

Time and again I realize that freedom is a really complicated matter. A lot of us fight for this but there are only a few who could really define freedom. Some say that freedom is the state of being politically free, others may view it as space or elbowroom for movement, sovereignity, independence, even deviation from normal rules or procedures. Freeom is the chance we get to redeem what we think is rightfully ours. We make the creed. We draw the line. We give the figures.

Now, what topic am I supposed to write about again?

P.S. > If you have any idea or any suggestion, let my torment end and share your thoughts. Satirical notions are highly appreciated. Thanks so much.

Mother nature is so hot... which is not a good thing

2008-05-01T05:19:00.000-07:00

Whenever I try to walk out of the house in mid-afternoon, realization always hit me that the world really is starting to melt. The summery season is not an excuse since here in our place we experience weather changes every three minutes. It really pisses me off when my skin (literally) starts liquifying -- demanding I put on SPF 3000 or else they'll detach themselves.

Global warming really is not cool. It pains me to visualize that the once splendid environment we usually ignore is slowly evaporating between our very eyes -- that is, if our eyes haven't burned yet and we still them on. Sure we got lots of technological crap updated, but don't we ever think of what the future might become if we stay careless and stupid? Being retarded and a complete moron is a probable excuse, but being apathetic? I don't think so. We may be looking forward to a brighter future, we may be fulfilling the demands of the 'global village', we may be up-to-date and in-the-know (hell for the lack of words), but shouldn't we be thinking of something else? something more valuable? like this spinning rock we call earth?

I'm not rinsing my hands clean here. I, too, am guilty. Guilty enough to write this post and attend to nature's call (pun not intended). I may be a part of People's Ethical Treatment to Animals (PETA), and Greenpeace (yes, the one where Pamela Anderson posed with nothing but spinach on), but I know these are not enough to support my movement of sweeping global warming off my backyard.

I believe in the saying that change only starts if you have the balls for it, that's why from now on, I swear (swear here meaning 'I'll try my very best...) to pay some equal respect to mother earth. Eventhough I think mother nature would love to hear that she's hot, I plan not to take that statement to its literal sense. Moreover, I am willing to volunteer and take part in every environment-awareness programs and seminars to further increase my literacy in preventing this world from falling apart -- like a superhero, but without the flowing cape thing and annoying pose.

I think you should do the same.

Similes and Metaphors

2008-04-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

To deny the mere fact that I'm missing someone so bad right now is like a flying squid on south super highway -- it's ridiculous. The thing is, I have no right to feel that certain feeling. Right now, all the words that I've written on my previous article are hitting me like an arrow on the forehead. Moving on is such a naive part of living... We take on risky decisions without thinking about the safety net for our eventual fall...

When we love, we always give our all. We succumb to this ecstatic feeling, thinking that it's a permanent emotion. We work more effectively. We do things more patiently. We act more than what is expected from us. We are inspired. We become more of what we used to be...

But when things start to turn sour, we give up. We lose our focus yet we continue to drag a pointless argument. We blame and point fingers at each other. We always act like we know better and we are always right. And when we get to the point where were already tired and everything is horrible, we snip off the once splendid relationship we used to think about before we sleep.

Love is a really great feeling, but the price we pay is high. It's not a one-shot deal, but more of a trial-and-error system. Yet between these experimental occurences we encounter the painful procedure of stripping off the past and moving on to the future. Like every evolution, we cannot choose to be stuck up and be stagnant. Love and life is like a bicycle on a road full of dust, thorn, and rock -- in order for us to gain momentum and reach a certain destination, no matter how difficult and painful we must keep on pushing and moving forward.

Change is the most constant thing in this world, and if we prefer to keep up with its pace, we should pick ourselves from where we left off and move along...

i hate alarm clocks! and other 9 XO things about 'the james'

2008-04-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

10. I hate alarm clocks. It starts my day by annoying the crap out of me and they eventually die because I 'accidentaly' drowned them in the tub with some soapy water..

9. I speak in random languages... randomly. I speak french, japanese, arabic, latin, chinese, and korean everytime I'm irritated, glad, musical, or just plain dumb. It's a fun game nobody understands.

8. I love playing the guitar... even when the strings are starting to slit my fingers in half and i'm actually risking my life for the threat of tetanus because of the rust on them. music is a siucidal career. let's dig deeper.

7. Want to drug me? give me some awesomely done mango smoothie and I'll tell you the secret code of our ancestry's vault as well as the map to the treasures of atlantis.

6. I have a disoreder. and it's called a multiple personality disorder. the pros? i can get along well with anybody. the cons? i'm really confusing sometimes. sad.

5. I love to party!!!!!!!!! (see the dilemma here? i'm a solid rocker. but i party so damn hard. tee hee)

4. Hot weather can easily make me doze off on my seat. I have no idea why but i can sleep soundly on a really hot environment. talk about sizzle!

3. I'm a freelance counselor. I usually give advices on love, starting in, going through, breaking up, and moving along. I'm a frequent adviser on yahoo! answers. :)

2. Gummy 'things' are my comfort food! from bears to worms to vampire dentures. as long as theyre gummy theyre mine!!

1. want to know more about me? (man this sounds so canned. blech!) blah blah blah just be my friend. c'mon i won't chew on your innards. (well unless your innards are gummy...)

as the year approaches its closure - a trip down the memory lane...

2007-12-28T04:08:00.000-08:00

As 2007 comes to an
end...

1) Where did you begin 2007?
- home. with my squealing mom, my 'horn-y' dad (pun not intended), silent brother, three screaming sisters - one of whom has a built-in amplifier on her throat, the youngest sibling already at the dinner table stuffing her mouth with slabs of sweet ham, and the Del Rosario Family--equally jumping and yelling and throwing coins around the entire house. A happy mess i should say. sheesh..

2) What was your status by Valentine's
Day?
- single. But I recall giving someone a box of Cadbury chocolates -- and regreting it after. She was the one who got fatter anyway..

3) Were you in school (anytime this
year)?
- As much as I can. Every little second is a moment I couldn't afford to miss. (*sniff*)

4) How did you earn your money?
- Allowance -- after hunger-striking in front of our yard for a week to have it increased by at least 20%. Every penny is worth a sweat...sweet old suffering... curses.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
- Hmmm. as far as I can recall we had a few trips back to the hospital for some medical check-ups and dental fix-ups..

6) Did you have any encounters with
the police?
- A friend and I actually decided to spend our night at a convenience store all the way along Quirino Avenue. We asked manong police who was assigned there to guard us as we snooze at the pavement. He even gave us used carton boxes so we won't get cold. Curse that damn curfew scheme..

7) Where did you go on holidays?
- There were few holidays where my friends and I gather for some chitchat. Other than that, no biggie holiday escapade. sad.

8) What did you purchase that was over
P1000?
- My white leather high cut converse shoes, my levi's, my 'interactive' cellphone that requires to be slammed and dropped every 5 minutes or else it will lose its concentration and die. It even display random barcodes on its screen every once in a while.. its broken.

9) Did you know anybody who got
married?
- Allan's big brother got married.. Hmmm. I wonder if a guy-to-guy marriage is counted.. witnessed one.

10) Did you know anybody who passed
away?
- Kuya Allan (from SDC).

12) Did you move anywhere?
- I want to but supreme maternal influence blocks my vision to eternal freedom. sad.

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
- The myx concert held at the school gym was one. A&F fashion show at glorietta 2, random fashion shows at the NBC tent/rockwell center/greenbelt 3 during the philippine fashion week. and the one where my elementary classmate danced and won the grand prize at.

15) Are you registered to vote?
- I want my vote to be significant. so..no I am not registered to vote.

16) Who did you want to win Big
Brother?
- Reality TV cancels healthy brain cells and prevents the person from thinking appropriately.

17) Where do you live now?
- Here in Cavite. sad.

18) Describe your birthday.
- Insignificant. worst birthday of my life.... so far.

19) What's one thing you thought you'd
never do but did in 2007?
- I promised myself not to smoke. From the day I 'unintentionally' broke it, I abhor making silly promises.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
- Too many to mention. And I'm not exaggerating here.

21) What's something you learned about
yourself?
- Hmmm. I actually realized, after long hours of contemplating and meditating, that what I learned most about the fragile existence of the life, is that most of them I accidentaly forget. Teehee.

22) Any new additions to your family?
- Hmmm. none. If I would be given a chance to add someone I'd definitely take that amazing koi I saw in makati. I'd call him giggles.

23.) What was your best month?
- Best month?! Forgive me but I don't rate my 'best' by months.

24)What will you remember 2007 by?
- The parties, the people (the old, the new, the hot, and the odd), the food (ooh i love mediteranean cuisine now), the concerts, the gigs, the highs and the effing lows. Damn. right now I can see that I had an ass-kicking 2007! wooh!

25) Who has been your best drinking
buddy?
- Maan's house part was a blast! although my drinking buddy back there was a mango tree. The former strangers to new friends -- from Alchemy, Dayo, Arkdia, Dematisse -- who stuck at me when I was already seeing double.

26) Made new friends?
- Hell yeah! Even that cool guy who was trying to sell me some smuggled shoes. And that old lady wearing teal lipstick at the Embassy.

27) New best friend?
- Nah. Haven't proved his worth yet. haha

Rakrakan Series 6 - Jan 5, 08 - CHICOSCI, TYPECAST, and more bands!

2007-12-16T15:01:00.000-08:00

Nabalitaan mo na? Para masaya ang New Year 2008

January 5, 2008
Dayo Bar - Betty Go Belmonte LRT2
Station, Aurora Blvd. QC. Near Cubao

Featuring.
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TYPECAST
IMBUENOKUDOS
MARYZARK
DESCANT GOTT
GAYUMA
18TH ISSUE
TOO LATE THE HERO
etc.

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phantom tragedy

2007-10-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd be posting another article about this. discombobulation have arisen yet again in my ironically unorganized universe...

...this is starting to become a habit..

it's the sudden change of mind.. and heart.. that is making my world spin around in different directions. I know I still have my priorities intact and that my goal is still fixed at some degree to something concievable and realistic. But the thing here is that there are some current issues I'm having trouble with, that they might interfere with the goal I am planning to pursue. My mind and my heart are fighting (what a lousy cliche) and there's nothing I could muster up (for now) unless some blinding light from up above would shine on me and an enormous hand would emerge from the clouds.. ready to give me a good slap on my right cheek..

..wake up dunderhead..

I don't know if a 'thing' right now is a good one or the opposite. when i start to consider my own benefits, I see the situation as a successful move. but when i try to contemplate that what i've done is a wrong thing and that it meant a great sum of unfair disadvantage for the other side, i see the situation as a bad thing..if not horrendous and a big shame. so right now I'm torn between two freaking decisions I can't handle... or so i say. Sounds foolish huh? I think so too.. that's why I guess I'd let the feeling subside as of the moment.. since it requires immediate action..

When I realize that I've been a bad wolf I always whimper. People around me might not notice it unless I open up and regurgitate my feelings. I always smile not because I want to but because it's the only way to hide myself from reality and step back from the lurking fear that I might nourish the feeling of negativity. It's way easier to pretend to be happy than to explain to people what the matter is. I'm laughing because no one knows that the joke is on me. Now I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face.. singing lalala..

.. wake up..

digital you

2007-09-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

So I was surfing down the wide web and I happened to come across this enormous profile full of psychological tests that determine, or gauge, your life. It's lke horoscope. but more of an instant thing. I decided to give it a shot and here are some of the results:

You Are 33% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.

But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

Your Pride Quotient: 38%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm.

Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...

But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.

That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep.

Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.

You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.

You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.

You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

...give them a shot ^__^i

spank you! spoiled tomato..

2007-09-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

hmmm. after a decade of hiatus here I am again racking your busy internet soul. sheesh.. It's really annoying and brain numbing how some insecure psycho-slash-taciturn slug can turn your ordinary day to its worst stage. Insecurity is NOT a healthy thing. Especially when the idea of it is incorporated in a healthy, well organized, and harmonious organization...

I could almost hear two of my colleagues agreeing to my every word (well, probably not every, but you get the idea). So let me tell you a great story about a young little science guy who's now trying to get to my nerves... and so far he is doing a good job at it..

Once upon a time, in a never so far away place, lives a family whose members are inter-linked with bountiful laughs and intelligent ideas. Then came this ogre, a bhad ogre I say, who threatens to wreak havoc in such a wonderful abode. All because he was too busy dwelling on the idea that the father is playing a little game named favoritism..

The End? hmmm... my lips are sealed..

Regret Revolver

2007-08-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

I feel really strange tonight. We had a fight thirty minutes ago. And to think that it's our monthsary today. I just can't really see where I went wrong. At the end of the fight I, again, had to step down and apologize. But this time I left with a bitter slap (figuratively). I said I'm tired.

napapagod din ako

Why is it always my fault when all the while I was the one who's trying to suppress the tension when the two of us clash tempers. Call me martyr and I'd sweep dust off your feet. I can't help but agree. I know I sometimes tend to be temperamenetal with my feelings. I can't realize where I'm going right now. It really is so ironic when things start to feel this way. My mind is full of uncertainties and the least I could do is to understand. I 'envy' those who can handle such glitches well. I'm an amateur member in this circus and there's no one to help me balance the unicycle other than my own two legs. I've had serious scratches and bruises all over me now and I can't afford to stop and give up.

I started this and I want to finish this. For that person who's always doubting me and telling me to stop, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you. I'm not tha type of person who escapes reality by conceding to the norms of the society. I'm not stupid. It's not a que sera sera situation. Reality just hit me on the forehead and I'm not planning to look away and ignore it. I would face it head on. Even if it means skinning my pride. Go ahead and stare at what you wish you've done before. I still have to crunch my knuckles. This time we oppose our point of views. You really don't know how I feel so stop pretending as if you truly care. From you, sympathy is best served cold. I may look like I need your advices now but to tell you honestly, they're not more to me than plasticity and cowardice. Empty and pointless.

Few are those who can really understand what I'm going through right now. I'm standing in between crossroads and the road signs aren't vivid enough for me to decide which move I should do and which direction I should take. I badly need to talk to someone right now. Someone who knows how to 'listen'. Closely and whole heartedly. Damn! I need a friend! SOS! or rather, SMS! Save My Sanity!

Redemption from boredom and beyond

2007-08-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

3 names you go by:
___Harold

___James

___Jem2x

3 screen names you've had:
___Ambersoul

___Ambersushi

___Rock_thy_soul

3 physical things you like about yourself:
___my eyes

___my wings

___my feet. lol

3 physical things you don't like about yourself:
___I'm thin

___my jaw

___my back. lol

3 parts of your heritage:
___Pinoy

___Egyptian

___Roman (daw)

3 things that scare you:
___insensitive people

___ignorance

___apathy

3 of your favorite bands:
___Paramore

___Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

___Coheed and Cambria

3 of your favorite songs

(woah! this is difficult..)

___Your Guardian Angel (Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

___The Suffering (Coheed and Cambria)

___Halleluiah (Paramore)

3 things you want in a relationship:
___adequate sensitivity

___kulitan

___lambing. hehe

2 truths and a lie in no particular order:

___mabait ako (saksakin ang kokontra! lol)

___I have three imaginary friends

___I'm a bad kisser (lol)

3 things about the preferred sex that appeals to you:
___makulit

___has broad imagination

___intelligent

3 of your favorite hobbies:
___text

___sleep

___write

3 things you really want to do badly right now:
___eat my heart out

___watch a movie

___kiss

3 careers you've considered/you're considering:
___writer

___graphic designer

___monk

3 places you want to go on vacation:
___Greece

___Egypt

___London

3 kids' names you like:
___Adonaiah

___Lazarus

___Jamylan

3 things you want to do before you die:
___Have my enemies dead

___Gain some weight

___Confess

3 ways that you are stereotypically a guy:
___I don't panic

___I forget but don't forgive

___I pee standing up..

3 ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
___I'm vain

___I'm reserved

___I lower my pride when I have to

3 celebrity crushes:
___Angelina Jolie

___Amanda Griffin

___Jessica Alba

3 persons you're tagging:
___you

___you

Broken Glasses and Screaming Turtles

2007-08-06T02:44:00.000-07:00

After having a fight with 329 I finally concluded one thing: things just look too beautiful from a distance. the moment you enter that delusion, you'll eventually realize that it was all a mirage. I don't generalize the term 'love' here. But admit it, tasting the sugar coat is way different when things turn sour. I was able to exhaust the fire before things begin to go out of hand. I had to lower my pride (again...for the nth time) with the promise not to commit the same mistake again. I guess right now you are saying that I'm trying to 'sweet sacrifice' myself again. I don't think so..

I luv yu..

The World Is Our Playground

2007-08-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging. Although I am not that busy these past few days I just can't seem to grab some ticks and segue my temporary existence to the imaginary world I keep on trying to visualize as my reality. Admit it, blogging is another way to sedate your sanity..

Wala na akong masabi. There are a lot of things I wish I could say...but social norms are preventing me from disposing such informations... Few people are chosen to sink deep into my abyss of glitch. I'm still afraid that they might not understand. but nonetheless i guess i still have to give them a shot and let them 'peek'. I am really hoping that they take my problem rather 'normal'. Sobrang konti lang talaga. 3. sila lang talagang tatlo ang nakakaintindi. Never mind the occasional 'pang-aasar' and stuff. At least they take me as I am. and that's all i need..

143 panget!! >_^

worries and pen scratches

2007-07-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

....these things just can't leave my consciousness alone...

Discombobulation ver. 1.0.0

2007-07-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Whew! natapos din ang lahat ng articles! Although may late article kami ni tessa, and it's a Standard Procedure that any late article is equivalent to a box of pizza, ayos lang dahil at least tapos na diba..

mamayang hapon magcocover naman ako ng basketball game sa The Arena ba yon? ewan. i admit, mahina talaga ako pagdating sa sports news pero gagawin ko parin. I have to otherwise my head is on the line.

Haaayyyssss... di na ko nasisiskatan ng araw. Aalis ako ng bahay madaling araw at uuwi ng gabi. sa parehong okasyon ay tulog halos lahat ng tao o kalahating nananaginip pa/na sa kawalan. Ayus lang. I'm trying to escape someone. Not that I'm mad. I barely get mad. Di ko lang gustong makipag-usap. muna. I've had enough already. and I guess it's about time that I shut my senses. temporarily. Pride is tasteless, odorless, and doesn't have any size at all. But I guess it's the hardest thing for him to swallow..

hit or miss

2007-07-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Darn it. another glitch/obstruction on the verge. Nakakainis. after that nonsensical "wag ka na munang mag-aral! manood ka nalang ng dvd jan habambuhay!" (oo aminado ko. nakakaadik School Rumble!) phrase from dad, here goes another wave of discombobulation (thanks kuya Venz for that wonderful word. I use it every three seconds) coming from that heartbreaker we, from now on, should somberly name as '329'. As what most cynical people might say, 'loving someone in the wrong time is rubbish and would eventually turn to ashes' , I say 'go home and clean your grannies' dentures with your eyelashes and knock yourselves three times on the head. you dont feel how much pain i'm submitting to right now, toadstools.'

I went to bed 10:30 pm and all I did was rant and roll. I cant sleep. darn! darn! darn! ang hirap! I stood up, and here I am. 1:40 am and still worried sick. I've proven myself that ridiculous phrase 'yung mahal mo, hindi ka mahal. yung mahal ka..etcetera..etcetera' Pakiramdam nya kasi nagbibiro lang ako. I admit. I'm a foolish guy and I always joke. Hell, I guess my friends would still find me funny even with my legs torn apart and three different colored knives are buried on my back. stressfull..

Nagpaload ako kanina just to let 329 know how I really feel. I even rang 329's phone three times just to let 329 know that I'm waiting. Hangang ngayon nagbabaka-sakali akong magttxt sya. Uso naman ngayon ang tanga kaya ayos lang..

Bihira mag online yon kaya it's way impossible for 329 to read this. But just so you know, I'm blood-dripping serious. I know it sounds funny but I tell you, I even did that stupid wish on a star thing just to feed this fantasy I know someday, somehow would come true..

Prepare for the new killer

2007-06-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

There was this news e-mail I recieved last monday ( thanks, Ate Claire) I can't help but pay great sum of attention to. That's why I made this entry to let everone be aware of what is happening. Maybe soon all of us should band together and say "Enough is enough. Please dont tell us what else will kill us."

First it was cigarettes. We are still being warned cigarettes will cause lung cancer or emphysema, not to mention turn our fingers and teeth yellow. Although I'm a 'I got better ways to kill myself other than that smoke puff' freako, I pay sympathy to those who are 'addicted' and I've heard a lot about the difficulty of quitting. Non-smokers and smokers, I predict, will have a civil war eventually and kill off great numbers of both sides all in the name of health.

And cholesterol. Eat stuff that really tastes good and let cholesterol clog your arteries, and one day you'll be sitting there eating a couple of sunny-side ups or a good serving of ham and cheese omelet and you'll drop dead of a heart attack. "He should've watched his diet," they'll say at your funeral. Pity. Got no one to blame here, buddy. You have those innocent eggs under your full control.

You can get cancer from just about everything, it seems. There's asbestos, eating smoked food, or drinking too much coffee. And speaking of drinking, go ahead and have another glass of scotch, brandy or beer. you know your liver is rotting with every sip.

Then there's AIDS. I don't want to talk about AIDS anymore.

So let's say none of these gets you. Great! except now there's something new to worry about -- Radon.

You quit smoking, drinking, and eating fatty food. You exercise everyday, brush regularly with tartar-control toothpaste, and have monthly check-ups with your doctor. You've eaten cereal until its coming out of your ears. You take all sorts of vitamins. And speaking of cereal, you even eat yours with some dried plants or fruit crops on top.

But you are still not safe. Radon is out there to get you. It's under the ground and it's seeping through. Waiting for you to have a whiff of it. You cannot smell Radon. And you can't see it, either. But it's there. You should've puffed most of that cigar since Radon can give you lung cancer, too.

If you want to be safe from this killer, you've got to buy loads of thinga-ma-jiggas that measures Radon in your house. And if you already have it, you need to get some guy to come over and make an assortment of repairs. And that's going to cost you.

Wouldn't we be better off if nobody told us about things like radon? sure it might pick a few of us off, but we wouldn't have to lie in our beds at night wondering how much radon the uranium under our homes is producing.

...worry kills too. would someone please mention that to the Surgeon General.

Sore wa nan desu ka?

2007-06-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

wwwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

amber: ano yan, bat ka nasigaw?
crimson: wala nanaman sa sarili...
ako: hindi ko alam. gusto ko sumugaw eh.
amber: alam ko na, dahil yan sa mga kanta ng Saydie kaya nahahawa ka na...
crimson: siguro nga. teka kukuha lang ako ng kutsilyo at sasaksakin ko nato..
amber: ok. bilisan mo lang.
ako: wwwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! (in a very creepy tone)
crimson: pwede ko na ba tuluyan to?
amber: oo sige. mag-ingat ka sa paghawak ng kutsilyo baka masugatan ka...

*ang inyo pong nasaksihan kanina lamang ay ang pagaaway ng tatlo kong katauhan. meron pang isa pero tahimik syang nagbabasa ng librong 'The Phantom Tollbooth' ni Norton Juster..

>> sa kasalukuyan, 10:48pm na at kailangan ko pang maghugas ng pinagkainan ko. Late na kasi ako nakauwi. kaya late na din sa dinner. hehehe matigas ang ulo. tulog na naman sila eh. heheeh

>May kakaibang nangyari sakin sa byahe ngayon pauwi. Nakakabadtrip kasi yung manong na katabi ko. Kita nang pandalawahan na nga yung upuan sa bus, pilit pa rin nya kong sinisiksik sa salamin ng bintana (actually yung bintana sobrang malapit nang mabasag. pakiramdam ko pag hinawakan ko sasabog na lang sya bigla) kaya mukha akong ewan sa bus na pilit umiiwas sa epal na manong at salaming maaaring ikasawi ng buhay ko. Pasalamat sya normal pa ako ng mga oras na yon.

Sa totoo lang abnormal talaga ako pag sumasakay ng bus. Pakiramdam ko dapat lahat ng senses ko ay nasa maximum performance. kung hindi ka pa nakakakita ng batang nagsasalita mag-isa sa upuan (yung tipong pabulong lang ah, shy ako e) magugulat ka pag nakita mo ako. ewan ba. nasasayahan naman ako. hehe. pero di naman masyadong madalas yon. paminsan minsan lang..yata

Adik. Nakakabadtrip pag bigla mong na-refresh yung away nyo ng isang kaibigan.

pretty neat!

2007-06-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hey check this out! wierd cyborg/monster name thingamajigga! tee hee ^_^i

thanks Ayie para sa isang kagilagilalas na site!>>http://cyborg.namedecoder.com/

trip kalbo

2007-06-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

o1. may naDelete ka ba sa frends mo?` marami na

o2. san ka galing kanina?` sa kama

o3. anu ginawa mo?` natulog. kagigigsing ko lang

o4. anu nagpatawa sayo?` yung kalabasa sa lamesa..

o5. sun smart globe?` globe

o6. anung meron sa buhok mo?` cells...

o7. san ka pupunta bukas?` sa eskwela

o8. sino kasama mo kanina?` matulog?! duh.. mag-isa lang ako sa kwarto..

o9. umuulan ba jan?` ngayon na? hinde

1o. masaya ba summer mo?` hinde.

11. excited ka na ba pumasok?` matagal na akong pumapasok... at hindi exciting

12. masaya ka ba kahapon?` aus lang. pwede na

13. bakit?` kasi buong araw nakasalpak ang mp3 sa tenga ko

14. gusto mo roadtrip?` oo naman! tara san?!

15. san yung hule?` sa sm fairview

16. nood tayo sine gusto mo?` sige. basta ikaw lahat magbabayad. hehe

17. eh sayaw?` hmm depende sa mood ko

18. ano ung huling kinaen mo?` barbeque

19. pakapalan na,cute ka ba?` oo naman! di lang cute..gwapo ako.. hehe sabi mo pakapalan eh

2o. nagkaron ka na ba ng bulutong?` ata. nung nagkaron yata ako, natutulog ako kaya hindi ko matandaan

21. eh ng pigsa?` oo din.

22. taghiyawat?` oo. damn stupid raging hormones..

23. pano ka kumaen ng burger?` kinakagat tapos nginunguya.. duh

24. pano ka manood ng t.v?` nakabukas yung mata

25. kumakanta ka ba habang naliligo?` depende sa trip

26. anu nilalaro mo nung bata ka pa?` patintero.. hanggang 4th year highschool pa nga e

27. nakasunog ka na ba? ng kahit ano?` oo. mahilig ako sa apoy

28. nagnakaw ka na ba?` ng?! hahahahaha!

29. pano mo sasabihin sa isang tao naayaw mo na?` wala akong sinasabi. pinaparamdam ko

3o. may dala ka bang bag kanina?` sa kama? wala.

31. anung laman?` yung normal kong bag? mga bond paper, notebook, mga panulat, wallet, id, mp3, librong masaya basahin

32. may aso ba kayo?` meron. dalawa

33. pusa?` sa bubong ng katabi naming bahay madami

34. sino bespren mo?` my ego

35. tumatawid ka ba kahit naka-go sign?` oo. masaya mabundol ng kotse..

di ako susuko

2007-06-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

lintik nanaman ako... hindi ako susuko...

papahiya ko na sarili ko... di ako susuko...

.... kung di ka mahalaga, tinigilan ko na to...

l i n t i k. . .

2007-06-10T01:38:00.000-07:00

nakakatawa kasi may bago nanaman akong expression sa buhay. yun ay ang lintik at putik. hehe ewan ba kung bakit natatawa ako sa mga salitang may -ik sa dulo. hahaha! nakakawala kasi ng pagod kapag masayahin lagi ang kausap mo at katxt. lalo na yung masungit pero aus lang naman..

galing akong eskwela ngayon. finals ng nstp. sisiw. hehe. buti na lang wala na akong klase pag linggo! sa wakas! pero dapat may baon parin.. hehe jok lang. (sabihin mong ayaw mo din. woo!)

nakakatawa talaga tong araw na to kasi habang pauwi, nakasukbit na agad mp3 ko sa tenga at handa nang umuwi at mag tanghalian per se. (12 kasi klase ko ng nstp pero umaalis ako ng bahay ng 10, almusal pa lang ang kinakain ko at ng araw na to isang pandesal lang ang kinain ko kaninang umaga dahil nasunog ko yung hotdog! lintik talaga). ayun nga, nung nasa bus na ako natataka ako kung bakit walang tunog sa kabila. sira na pala yung speaker/earphone sa kaliwa. peste. kaya konting galaw lang ng katawan ko nawawala na yung tunog. kaya mukha akong tuod sa upuan ko dahil pinipigilan kong gumalaw at mawala yung tunog. natatatwa na siguro yung katabi ko sakin kasi tinitignan nya ako. may balak pa atang sabihing 'boy, ayos ka lang? gusto mo ng tubig?" lintikan.

pagdating ko, mga 3 (maaga uwi kasi exam lang naman tapos dismissed na) kumain agad ako. tapos nandito na sa harap ng pc at nagsimulang magtype. . .hehe

2007-06-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

Nakakainis... isang katang*han nanaman ang umiiral sa utak at PUSO ko ngayon... OO UMIIGIB este UMIIBIG nanaman si manong puso ko... hayyyy...

pero bawal!!!!!!! anak talaga ng kumukulong patatas! Bawal muna ako umibig! hoohoohoo.. there are a couple of reasons why this heart of mine should remain chained and sedated... splattering pickles from the sun!!!!!! di ko alam mararamdaman ko!! pero here goes...

FOOLS REASONS VOLUME ONE

_WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER (YES HONEY, YOUR EYES AREN'T FOOLING YOU) LOVE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW_

by Me, your next door 'poop on the head' adviser

FREAK REASON NUMBER 1--- prioritize your studies! hindi ka pumapasok sa eskwela araw araw para lang maghanap ng iibigin!! It's a geek's mortal sin. aral muna, anak (nanay mode)

FREAK REASON NUMBER 2--- Mahal ang load. kahit sabihin mong '25 lang naman eh para makapag-unli' o '100 lang yan', believe me, there is more to that 100 pesos rather than your buttered load...

FREAK REASON NUMBER 3--- oo sweet nga, eh mahal ka ba? sapul naman!! I guess there's nothing more painful (well, aside from being run over by a truck or a plane) than an 'in your face!' confession. Hindi daw pwede dahil may tatlo na syang anak at dalawang tuta... Hayyy...

... sa ngayon tatlo pa lang. mga namumukod-tanging mga rason kung bakit kailangan munang ituon ang pagtingin sa mga aklat at takdang-aralin. Yes, yes, yes I can hear you saying "It's for yor future" cliche in the background. Napag isipan ko na yan, inang lola....

Parang ganon na lang kasi ang pagleleksyon ng mga tao sakin.

"Wag muna. bata ka pa naman"

"pangit naman! wala na bang iba jan?!" (in a very sarcastic tone)

"pare, may iba na syang mahal", "hindi kayo bagay...",

at ang pinakamasaklap sa lahat:

"minsan talaga, kailangan munang pumaibabaw ng utak bago ang puso.." ..........

+_+

PAHABOL: ( kung binabasa mo naman ito ngayon, oo ikaw nga.. gusto ko malaman mong etong si manong puso ay tumitibok ng matindi para sayo. oo nga, hindi nga ako nagbibiro. nakakatawa di ba?... kung alam mo lang...)

TAHO AT SHAMPOO

2007-05-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

due to insistent public demand, (actually si Ayie nag request neto, for his 'campaign for non-nosebleed blogging), gagawa ako ng entry na tagalog! whoopie! ...tapos na...

hehe joke lang. una, ikukwento ko nalang ang nangyari sakin nung isang araw. isang yugto ng kabanas banas at kulang sa pansin na araw...at ng kinabukasan pa...

Nung lunes mukhang maayos naman lahat. akala ko ay makakatakas na ako sa makamundong side tripping ng mga pinoy. mahilig ako sa taho. at tuwing alas otso empunto ay dumadating ang magtataho at tinatawag ang pangalan ko (sosyal na magtataho. stalker ko siguro to). handa na ang order ko. sampung pisong taho na konti ang arnibal at sago. eh badtrip ang gising ko non dahil natusok ako ng pardibleng pangkabit sa sapin ng kama ko. nasabihan ko si manong ng masasakit na salitang di ko pinangarap sabihin kailan man: "Dang konti naman neto manong! sampumpiso na ba to?! Mukha pang tokwa! Dagdagan mo to papabaranggay kita!" yung huling linya hindi ko talaga sinabi at isinanloob ko na lang dahil nakakatakot talaga sya sa totoong buhay. nagalit si manong at sa isang mabilis na kalabit ay kinuha ang taho ko sabay tapon sa kalsada at sandok ng panibagong taho. wala syang nasabi kundi isang nakaka tanggal lamang "TAHO" sa harap ko. tenks manong.

kinabukasan, matapos ang 'taho misdemeanor' ko, hindi muna dumaan si manong sa bahay. Sinundo ko pa sya sa kabilang street. peste naman. Tanghali na nang magsimula akong mag ayos ng aking mga gamit para pumasok. sumabit ang daliri ko sa paa sa dulo ng kama. masakit. sira nanaman ang araw ko. pagdating sa banyo, habang naliligo ako ay tsaka ko nalaman ang isang kahindik hindik na kaalaman: wala na akong shampoo. imaginin nyo nalang ang mga salitang lumalabas sa bunganga ko habang papalabas sa banyo. hindi masaya.

TRIP TO SELF SUBURBIA

2007-03-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

I've been out of the global village for quite sometime because of a reason: I reflected/meditated on what happened in my life these past weeks. Yep, yoga is starting to devour my fancy. (",)

Life is a continuum. (Quote here). There are some points where I need to improve myself. Change if I must. Change is the most constant thing in this spinning rock we call world. I need not change my negative pickles, though. The weird me, trash talking me, and utmost-disgust-to-senseless-things me. They are there for a particular reason. I'm not aiming to become a doll of pure perfection. I'm a marionette for destruction.

If last Friday wasn't the hottest day of the year, I must've died and gone to hell. At two in the afternoon I was standing along Edsa, waiting for a taxi. I waited and waited... And waited. Every driver that exists in the city must've had the same idea, because hundreds of cabs zipped past me, all of them occupied. After maybe half an hour, I began to hallucinate. I imagined the passengers sitting inside those nice well-ventilated cabs were pointing at me and laughing. "Loser!" they seemed to shout as I waved limply at their taxis. I was raw hamburger in a nuclear furnace. My skin hurt. My brain hurt. My hair hurt. Anyone who still thinks global warming is left-wing tree-hugger propaganda should try stepping outdoors in the afternoon.

As I stood there being irradiated, I thought of ancient prophets on foot across blistering deserts. What incredible visions must've swum before their sand-filled eyes. It is not a coincidence that many religions were founded in the desert. Stick a fork in my ass, I'm done.

PREROGA-TIP

2007-03-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I find myself in the middle of a nasty fight, I can't help but shut my system up and review the art of reasoning. Even if it means not believing in what I think is true at the first place.

Feeble-mindedness and ignorance can get anybody nowhere. There is a big difference between fighting for your claimed right and fighting for what is lawfully right. When you want things your way, you take hold of everything, your way or no freakin' highway. When you want things to happen right, you tend to adjust to let everything else fall into place. Sacrifice if you must.

All should be a lot careful not to trample somebody else's reputation or character along the process. Sometimes, due to the failing reasons we nurture the impulsive reflex for careless condemnatory start to take over. Conscience set aside for later regrets.

Probing the mere fact that both sides are right, one must listen carefully and think things through before making any final dive. Regardless of how much pride one side is trying to keep, sometimes one needs to stop and surrender because nobody really knows when things should be enough.

let this one work...

2007-03-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

Free Myspace Pictures from drewpydraws

Devils on my sushi... a rebirth

2007-02-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

If you haven't noticed it yet, I've decided to change my blog name. From its default 'waiting' I came up with the title 'devils on my sushi'. Actually, the title hit me between the eyes yesterday, while I was having my chemistry class. My blog is actually a rebirth since thie first blog server I was using is that of friendster's. Ang boring kaya don...

Sir Bhadz gave us a breather for our pending writing tasks after he declared a three-day extension for his gut-wrenching requirements. With my fullest gratitude, and in behalf of all the probees, we thank you for paying sympathy to our feelings.

Speaking of which, we really are aware of the 'judgement day' approaching on our backs. And it pains us thinking that time really flies when you are having fun. Despite all the hectic writing task deadlines and demanding classes to attend, being honored probees really bended the boundaries out of us. And it sure did made its point when the staff told us that time management and focus is essential in being a part of TNB. Rest assure that whatever these tests may lead to, we, the probees, are surely grateful to every square inch of TNB for showing us more of what we need to learn, from being a writer to being a person. Kudos to all of us! ;)

this entry is actually for you...

2007-02-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

It's almost four in the afternoon. dismissal time for me today is 4:30. Computer Laboratory is oh-so boring.... I hate haters.

last night, I was'nt able to take a snoozer because I have couple of writing tasks to attend to. Needless to say, although I am a self-proclaimed nocturnal (a trait I got from mom), I can say that last night I am not in the mood to go ding-dong all the way. these past few weeks I've been trying to snatch some sleep since loads of errands are flooding my dump truck. Final Exam is just a snap away and, to tell you honestly, I have'nt got any serious studying yet. Although I've been mending with my academics (yes, for the love of God, I still am surviving), the pickles in my jar these past few weeks are really sour. Well, for me, that is. Not that i'm being too pessimist about everything, I really love what I'm doing and, sweet still, my life is always going. My family is'nt worrying much about my status (thanks, guys. +_+) and from the look of it, they are helping me in such small ways like I can leave the dishes to my little sister or I may take the last piece of cake.

To all those who never fail to brighten my day, even if it means cracking lame jokes or slapping me at the back, I extend the fullest of my gratitude with the promise that sooner I'll repay you. Money matters excluded.

And to those (people, problems, kitten litters) who always get in my nerves, you have'nt seen the last of me yet. As long as fishes don't sleep with closed eyes, I still can do. Amen to that.

2007-02-21T00:54:00.000-08:00

Kuya Ean!!! the magic flakes crawler!!!

2007-02-21T00:51:00.000-08:00

'evil' phtoshop project of mine!!! (uahahaha!)

2007-02-21T00:42:00.000-08:00

a picture after a seemingly humorous interview with one of the Cardinals' players: Neil Anthny Pascual... >.<

comics!!!

2007-02-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

free tips for the modern cheapskate

2007-02-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

Considering the economic 'growth' of the philippines today, I've decided to share some elusive thoughts, rather tips if you prefer, about how to save,save,save, and save some more. No need to worry about advertisement fees or any payment I may be asking. Consider this as a friend to kid conversation. Pun not intended.

1. Pretend you have class on Sunday (I don't actually do this but hey, it's worth a shot)

2. Threaten your parents that if they don't immediately raise your allowance, you'll lick the electric socket and die. (Good way to kill yourself, too. They'll be proud you are creative)

3.No allowance? Go gay and picket strike in front of your lawn everyday.(Explanation not needed)

4. Practice 1,2,3(yes honey, the one cheapers like you do on bus trips and jeepney rides)

5. Run for Senator.

*these tips may not work the first time you try but,as they all say, if you want something to happen, you have to make something happen. Amen to that.

dont read this...

2007-02-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

laboratory is oh-so-boring.... no professors, free internet, no holds barred!!! ayiyiyiyi! (sorry I just barfed at my keyboard)... +_+

Heaven’s Fall

2007-02-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

The rise of the damned

Before vague visions of judgmental eyes
My vexed prerogative slowly grow
These walls, once silent, forgave their goodbyes
To the dismal halo I forever bestow

Along the stitches of imminent worlds apart
The crescent grounds commanded delight
For the beaten, demolished, forbidden damned heart
Will soon wreak pride a pray’r alight

Sobriety left beyond certain eternity
My sword, my guard hushed roars of tranquil
The empty battle proposed obvious ambiguity
But the struggle of the phantom never failed futile

Shame and disgrace stained the face of the wounded
The bleeding dice again can never be wicked

don't read this

2007-02-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

I had a good conversation here with mom. After re-reading the awe-inspiring work of Bob Ong in 'Bakit Baliktad Magbasa Ng Libro Ang Mga Pilipino', it occurred to me to look back at those despondent days when our president was still an action star. Realizing now, I give eternal round of applause the woman who handles the country now. Yes, she may have flaws and imperfections but it was never a fault to commit error. Moreover, as you can see now, she is making up to it. In addition, she is doing well at it. I just don’t know why such unsatisfied perfectionists would come to think of dethroning her. Of course it is every current president's right to remain in his/her position as long as a) he/she is adequate of doing so or; b) the people still adores his/her campaign and still enjoys his/her dancing brilliance and ability to hit the notes right. You have nothing against it, it is the "people's choice" were talking about here. Ahhhh... democracy… excuse me I just barfed at my keyboard.

Saying that the president 'hands out' her throne, who would the people think of as a substitute? Let's see why these following people are 'president material' in the eye of the public and how these people would do if ever they are elected and have won the presidency slot:

a) Sandara Park- hmmm... I don’t know… next…
b) Bayani Fernando- ask no more questions, let's paint the town…or should I say the nation… pink!
c) Sam Milby- the mob just patronizes him as if he is a religious material and he heals the people's 'sickness' by pulling his pants way down low…
d) Saber the wonder dog- "look ma! He can flush the toilet!"
e) Kris Aquino- let's admit it, beauty and brains always make it in the list
f) Mike Enriquez- get ready for World War III! 'di naming kayo tatantanan!
g) Keanna Reeves- "My! What BIG future we have! Those are HUGE!"
h) Manny Pacquiao- "I'm sorry he won't be able to attend that ceremony, he is scheduled to have a nosebleed by that time." …para sa'yo ang laban na to…

Haha. Yes, it is funny…. However, the next time you leave the parameters of your home, try to think about your own future. How it will affect you and the people around. How it will make or break your own fate and how your future kids will think about it. How mom and dad 'voted wisely' for their future.

*the literary and the respected names mentioned above are for entertainment and example purposes only. It is of no official declamation and you should not take it seriously. Pease! +_+

Even though ( a highschool melancholy)

2007-02-09T07:46:00.002-08:00

I wrote this literary way back when I was still in highschool, second year...

Even though you have every right to be angry, you have every reason to let it go. For when you let go of your anger, you make more room for joy.
Even though your first impulse may be to retaliate, you're likely to be better off when you reconcile and forgive. After all, when you've been hurt, it makes no sense for you to prolong the hurt with your own attitude and actions.
Even though the world is often cruel and unfair, it does not have to get you down. The more fully and willingly you accept what is, the more power you have to improve upon it.
Even though many things will come along that could be frustrating and annoying, you can always choose to respond with patience and with grace. By so doing, you'll be building strength as well as focusing your energy in a more positive and productive direction.
Even though events may not go your way, you can continue to move in the direction of your own choosing. Success depends very little on being given what you want, and much more on becoming the best you can be.
Even though life has its setbacks, disappointments and tragedies, they pale in comparison to the new and positive possibilities that increase with each passing moment. Choose to fully live the immeasurable blessing that is your life, and every day will move you forward.

there are some things money can't buy, for everything else... you'll know it

2007-02-08T00:47:00.000-08:00

i saw a kid on my way to school today. A typical child if you might conclude but he is far from being what we call 'normal'. He is a barker in Baclaran. About the age of three, no, almost four. Kid in the eyes of those who are too judgemental but an angel to mother crippled with supererogatory burden/responsibility. During the ride, i 'interviewed' the kid as he munches on the chocolate i offered. His name is Karlo. At first he was afraid to answer some personal questions I was throwing his way but eventually he gave in. He is the youngest of his family of six. His father died before he was born. His mom tried to marry another guy but landed to bearing three more children outside marriage. He is one of them. he told me he was working at the young age since his mother don't earn surfeit income in order to raise the five of them. His mom works at the foot of the Baclaran bridge, selling pirated VCDs and a couple of snacks...

>>to be continued...

An Autobiography of a Little Devil

2007-01-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

I am Harold. If you happen to pick this up unmindful of its purpose, then you are in for some twisted ride in my life. I was born the 5th evening of December 1989. But let me tell you about the day before such disaster occurred. My mom and dad were fighting over some illogical matter when my grandfather came in and scolded them. You see, my grandfather then was already half-dead (bless his soul). Half of his body was subject to paralysis after his heart attack. But then again, even though his speech was all groggy and every step he takes is like hell, he always gets mad at my parents for not being considerate of the child they are conceiving. Come the day of my birth, he was so happy he never thought how evil his grandson would become someday. Rather, he always makes sure that I get what I need (since I was a baby then) and have everything under control when I am around. Unfortunately, when I was turning 2 years old, he passed away. Today, my mom always sees my grandfather in me. Him being too picky and maarte, the way he practices Christian living, the free spirited attitude and the ‘can do’ mind-set, every bit of my grandfather is embedded on my being.

I grew up in an environment mature enough for me to handle truths yet oblivious still in the fact that morality and respect is still motivated. This clearly gives a vague picture of who I am. Our family consists of eight members. Our parents are still alive and are together with six lovely wolves. We learn a lot and fast since my dad is a strict disciplinarian. At the age of seven we are already up on our toes with loads of chores. My dad did this probably for us to exercise responsibility and time management. Of the six, I was the one who is the most hard-headed. I talk back when I am scolded. The story was dated back when I was in elementary. My dad called me tanga. I hate being called stupid since I am not. I learn from my mistakes and I grow up but never was I been over the limit. For me the word labels an individual a complete moron and dictates his intellectual capacity. This is also the same reason why I don’t do cuss words. It defiles somebody else’s maturity and dignity. Also, it brings one to become too judgmental and irrational as well as unfair. Besides, how sure are we of our own intellectual quotient that we order other people’s capability? I love cursing people. Saying the things I want to happen to them such as step on poop or slip on mud. But label somebody else just because he made a terrible mistake? The answer is no.

I was a little devil back then. I call to mind the times when I would throw my dad’s golf balls at flying planes overhead us, thinking that they might hit someone unconscious and fall off. My dad would get furious and he would try hitting me with a stick but he wasn’t able to since I can easily outrun him. Other times I would play with ants and kill them with bleach, leaving the container empty and the floor so flooded with suds two of my siblings slipped and cried. I made sibling rivalry in our family a daily routine. I just really hate my little sister. I'm the most jealous kid in the family and everybody hates me for being such. Maybe because that my little sister makes better at school. And to make matters worse, my mom ignores my plea and still continues to pamper little miss big head, making me a walking nightmare to my sister. But as they say, all things come to an end. What, you think I stopped being a curse? Nah. It just lessened. Since now I want to show my mom that I can do the same (even though I am trying to impose the idea since birth). Come to think of it, I did learn a lot from that. And the biggest lesson I acquired was to be steadfast and strong. It challenged me to think deeper, talk clearer walk straighter and improve even better. For it not only showed how imperfect I am, it also gave me the idea that I can do a lot to advance myself.

Elementary life was so funny, I forgot to laugh. This is the era where the kids learn the basics of life and survival: abusive so called ‘friends’ who always let you push them on the swing but never let you experience the thrill, your teachers accusing you of cheating when what you’ve only done was ask a ‘few’ questions, seatmates who impose death threats before the finals, fish ball vendors who try to kill you with e-coli and salmonella, and the lesson that you should ‘trust no one’. I remember the time when I always love being alone. That was in 3rd grade when all the guys in our school fondle with baby grasshoppers and kill them when they’re not anymore happy with it. I, in contrary, would watch them from a corner as I curse them and their children. I didn’t have the nerve to fit myself with my fellow kids since what I enjoy usually bores them. I love reading ever since. And I still love it. I got fond of reading since my mom was an English teacher before. She taught the six of us the right grammar, pronunciation and spelling of words so often that we breathe it everyday. I love reading so much that back then I skip meals in order to finish the book I was reading. This is because our library only allots 2 days for home reading and overdue payment costs 50 bucks. This is another reason why I don’t socialize much. I had a ‘flip flop’ friend who sticks up my underarm wherever I go. ‘Flip flop’ here means untrue/fake/plastic. An instance wherein I can prove such judgment is when he left me when I needed him. This girl I was courting dumped me. And I was sad. The reason I was dumped was because the girl liked my best friend more. A great picture if you might portray. Girl leaves. Friend follows. Me. Forget about me. That’s why I never trusted someone deeper than the hollow of my palm.

The teenage years are the best years and one should never take the time for granted. I remember the time when I was in my first year of high school. Snotty classmates are replaced with decent-looking freaks, pigtailed sissies converted to conventional ladies, and ill-gotten enemies maintaining the brand of their name. High school for them is the training ground for the future generations. For me it’s a lot more. First year is the numb year. My new found ‘friends’ then are so rare to find you’ll probably get tired of finding one and would end up with someone else. They actually hooked me to anime and drawing that’s why I owe them much. One is Joyce, whom I share the exact outlook in life. We love cursing people in three different languages and we both love tea with milk. She taught me a lot about survival of the fittest. She never gives up on anything and always expresses what she really feels. The other one is Joseph. A freak that enjoys being funny. He thinks it is his responsibility. To make people laugh. He doesn’t like to see people sad. It’s because when his grandfather died, he was told to make his family happy. And he considers everybody as his family. I wonder why it never occurred to me to do the same. Well, it wouldn’t be right if I've done the same. Since the same is not me. I’m different.

Military class in high school became my emotional outlet as well my sanctuary for prowess. I was an officer before. I was the second to the highest officer in the whole academe. It gave me the opportunity to maximize my potential as a leader. I remember when I was still a junior boy scout. At a camping trip my friend and I were so fond of helping other students that we forgot to cook our own food. We were scolded by our head master since their lunch was delayed because of us. Yeah right. And he was the one telling us to be helpful and considerate at the first place.

Right now, my life is at the edge. It’s testing all the patience, endurance, strength and courage that I have. College life is slowly biting on my ankles, making its way to my nerves. But then again, it would be dull and lifeless if challenges don’t sink in. life is fun and I should enjoy it. There is more to life than suffering and pain. ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘plans to prosper you and not to hurt you. ‘plans to give you hope and a future’. –Jeremiah 29:11. Time and time again these pains, flushes and sleepless nights would shake the hell out of us, to bring us all to the point of realization when we aspire too much or claim too many. Besides, it’s the salt that makes the food taste better, the same salt that can hurt our deepest wounds. Our being is subject to all the chances of life. There are so many things we are competent of, that we could be or do. The possibilities are so grand that we never, any of us, are more than one-fourth fulfilled.